Finding Our Way

Let's Get Caught Up...

2009-05-20T08:32:00.000-07:00

Last year was the first time I went into Jason's class with the purpose of educating his classmates during autism awareness month--April. His class is great and the kids are really receptive. I read a simple book and we spoke a bit.

This year I returned and Radar came with me. There are no photos since I had Radar on a leash and that kept my hands busy! Radar's presence there had a major impact. I was pretty sure having him would speak louder than words and I was right!

Patty at the North Star Foundation sent me a CD she produced called Home Before Dark. This shows how an assistance dog can help a child with autism. I played the beginning of the disc for the class. With all those puppies on the large screen, I felt the need to give a "cute factor" warning prior to starting it up!

Jason's classmates asked great questions. Most of them have dogs at home so they completely understood the many benefits dogs can provide. Radar was very well behaved. He LOVES kids and I know he worked really hard to sit or lie quietly at my side when he really thought 20+ kids in one room surely meant recess!!

One of the first things I did was an experiment. I asked Jason to walk up to the front of the class slowly (Radar knows his boy and I didn't want a bouncing fool on my hands--the dog, not the boy!). When Jason arrived to us, I handed him the leash and walked a few steps away. The expressions changed in a positive way on just about every face! When I pointed this out to Jason's class, I saw the look of enlightenment. I explained that was the whole point of this placement--for Radar to become a bridge to his peers. In that instant he held the leash, he was not Jason with Asperger's or autism; he wasn't Jason with the pants pulled up too high; he wasn't Jason who talks insessantly about birds; he was Jason, the kid with a really cool dog. Mission accomplished.

Amy, the school district autism consultant, was present for the start of our presentation. She is delighted to have a parent take a proactive position in the school. She tells me we have 60 children in our tiny little school district who are on the autism spectrum. Those are just the ones who are diagnosed. It makes me wonder how many have yet to be diagnosed. Interestinly, of those 60, only two are girls. She confirmed what I keep hearing: girls present differently than boys and often go undiagnosed or get diagnosed much later than boys.

The one message I've tried to convey in a variety of ways in different classes is this: we are ALL different and so that really makes us all the same. It's about acceptance. If I could drive that message home to all kids in elementary school.... Sadly, many learn to discriminate at home. I do believe it's a learned behavior. Maybe, with Radar's help, we change some of that.

And This...

2009-05-20T08:27:00.000-07:00

Perhaps it's because he is a light dog, but I have a hard time getting a good photo of Radar when he faces the camera. He is now sporting his summer clip. He is shaved down pretty short. I will never be mistaken for a show groomer but I must say, my grooming skills are coming along. In this warmer weather, I've been clipping Radar on the grooming table outside. Then he gets to watch the goings on of the neighborhood while I buzz him. He can watch all the neighborhood kids play without a problem but if OUR children come outside when he's on the table, that just about ends the grooming session! He can't sit still. Whatever they are doing, he thinks should involve him!

And Now THIS!

2009-05-20T08:24:00.000-07:00

To This. But Hold On...

2009-04-05T11:39:00.000-07:00

This photo was taken less than five minutes ago. Radar is now 8 months old and 24" at the withers. I tried to get a shot of his collar but he moved as I clicked. He's sporting a custom made New England Patriots collar that was sent by his breeder. Laura happens to live about 20 minutes away from Foxboro, Mass!

Radar's look will change again today as he's going to get a bath and another clipping. We've had such wet weather (wet even by Pacific Northwest standards!) that Radar's coat has gotten filthy just playing in the back yard. It's nothing but mud back there.

After his bath and clipping, I'll snap a few more shots and do an actual update....

And This...

2009-04-05T11:28:00.000-07:00

This was taken a couple of days after Radar's arrival. You can see two eyes and a nose peeking out from the ball of fluff. Poodle pups are incredibly soft. He was small and we kept thinking he looked like a stuffed toy walking around the house!

Radar - From This (the day he arrived)

2009-04-05T11:22:00.000-07:00

This was taken right after we got home from the airport on December 6. Radar was four months old in this picture. A soft and fluffy furball.

2009-03-24T19:01:00.000-07:00

This photo has nothing to do with Radar (although he was looking on) I couldn't resist posting it. Kasey is developing quite a flair for fashion. Let me just say, her ensembles have really gone to a whole new level after this photo was taken!

Deane

WE Survived Neuter!

2009-03-18T13:28:00.001-07:00

Yes, I do mean "we" survived. Radar was the one who went through surgery but it was our job to make sure he "rested" for 10 - 14 days. In fact, they would like to see dogs do NOTHING but lie down for the entire recuperation period. HA!! Unrealistic for Radar. When Radar is happy and feels well, Radar bounces. You can't keep a good poodle down and he was back to bouncing the day after his surgery. I knew then it was going to be a very long 10 days.

We limited outside to potty breaks on a leash only. At first, he seemed to enjoy my company with each potty break. Then it became apparent that each time he would try to play with his toys, I would stop the play. The same would happen when he would try to run or bounce. Suddenly, it seemed, I was just plain NO FUN!

As what typically happens, Radar was obssessed with licking at his sutures so spent a good chunk of time in a cone. It was pitiful, really, but necessary. It took him a while to be able to navigate the house wearing it. He bumped into a lot before he got the hang of steering his new, larger-space-required head.

Eventually I was able to get him to understand that licking meant the cone went on so toward the end of the 10 days, we would wear it only when we could not directly supervise him (when leaving the house or night time).

It was a happy, happy day when the sutures came out (day 10 as I couldn't take it anymore!). We came home from the vet and played fetch in the back yard for 20 minutes and then went for a nice long walk. In the afternoon, Radar came with me to occupational therapy (as he had been once week for many weeks) and by evening, he was one tired pooch. Happy to be back to a routine that saw him with lots of activity.

It's now been almost a week since the sutures were removed and he is doing great. He's back to plenty of walking, lots of playing and returning to public places. He was delighted to go to the grocery store with me yesterday. He's so smart, I considered just sending him with a list.

How We Got Here

2009-03-07T11:29:00.000-08:00

Before the blog gets too far, we should explain how we got 'here'. It all began with getting a diagnosis...

In July of 2007, Jason was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. Asperger's is on the autism spectrum. He is advanced academically but socially deficient. Jason also has some classic Asperger's behaviors: very limited eye contact, he flaps his hands, he does not pick up on facial expressions or body language, he has extreme noise sensitivity--which can immediately lead to a meltdown. He also will talk incessantly about his favorite topics, not allowing another person to get a word in. Jason was 10 years old when he was diagnosed, a very common age for diagnosis of boys. One in 150 children are believed to be on the autism spectrum (many of us believe this to be a conservative estimate), girls are typically diagnosed later than boys.

Let me state right here that we do not care at all about labels. The insurance company cares and the school district cares. That is really it! This diagnosis, however, gave us access to a toolbox of techniques put together by parents and specialists who have gone down this road before us. We could use these to help Jason during transitions and other difficulties.

One day in January of 2008, JP was surfing online and found some service dog organizations that place service dogs into families with children who have autism. At this point, it didn't click with me that we had a child on the spectrum. I simply thought it was a fabulous idea because dogs can do so much for us.

A couple of weeks later, I was flipping through the breeder classified section of a Dog Fancy magazine, when an ad caught my eye. A breeder of Cavalier King Charles Spaniels had a notation that read "our puppies have been chosen by the North Star Autistic Foundation to be used as therapy dogs". That's when it hit me---we have a child with autism and I wondered if we should investigate this. I went to the computer and found http://www.northstardogs.com/ and read every word on the web site. When I was finished, I emailed Patty Dobbs Gross, the Executive Director. I also made an online donation. We had no idea if we would qualify for this program but I wanted to help *A CHILD* with their placement.

Through emails and phone conversations, Patty approved us as a family to receive a puppy from North Star Foundation. So began our journey to Radar...

By now, JP was deployed but completely on board with all of this. We began our fundraising efforts, which took us to Maine over the summer of 2008. The majority of our fundraising was done on the East Coast. This trip also enabled us to meet Patty of North Star and her sweet golden retriever, Rosie. With the important work she does, Patty quickly became one of my heroes!

Patty felt strongly that we would best be served by a standard poodle. This took me aback, but she's the expert and so I trusted her judgment. In fact, there was a litter of poodles coming shortly after we met and North Star was getting one of the pups. She wanted us to have the pup coming from this litter. Fundraising kicked into high gear with this news!

Laura, the poodle breeder, has a kind and giving heart. She was great with keeping us up-to-date with photos of the litter and news of how everyone was doing. Jason had predicted we would receive an apricot male and that's exactly who was chosen from this litter. Jason and I assembled names we liked and he had final say from that list and chose the name, "Radar".

Through so many wonderful people, our fundraising goal was met. Another BIG "thank-you" to everyone who helped us raise money, helped with the yard sale and the benefit supper. A HUGE "thank-you", again, goes out to our family at Rolly's Diner. Without your generosity and volunteers, we would not have raised the money so quickly!! Ken, you rock with your ideas!!

At eight weeks old, Radar left his Mom and littermates and made the trip with Patty to New Jersey, to his puppy-raiser's house. Judy is one of the top puppy raisers for North Star. Everyone was excited that she would get to raise our pup. She had help from another home, Lisa and her children, Emma and Sam. Together these homes did a wonderful job with Radar's training. They also were very good about keeping us posted on what Radar was up to and how well he was doing with his public access training. Lisa used to have a standard poodle so she fell in love with Radar immediately.

Judy flew Radar out to us on Saturday, December 6th. He was four months old. Many of you know we lost our greyhound, Selah, at the end of September. It was sad and my heart was broken. Radar's arrival was a bit soon for me, so I guarded my heart because I knew this is what was best for Jason. It is important the dogs come into the family as puppies for the whole bonding experience to work to the benefit of child and dog. Earlier was better than later. Well, it didn't take too long and those walls I'd put up were crumbling down.

Radar has been with us now for three months. The longest he has lived anywhere! He has grown in size and is fantastic with training. We graduated puppy level 2 class a week ago Thursday. He takes commands from everyone, including Kasey. He is funny, intelligent and gentle. He is now seven months old and is fun to have around!! Boy, can he bounce! He was the hit of puppy class because when he comes, he comes running and bouncing. I've made jokes that Santa must be missing Prancer because here he is.

One of my concerns with having a poodle was the grooming. Every four to six weeks the coat needs to be clipped because it grows continually, like human hair. When I called around to get an estimate on grooming, I decided I would do the clipping because a very basic clip would be $85. My clippers have already paid for themselves!

Many people ask what a service dog can do for a child with autism. First, with any human-animal bond, there is the whole stress reliever benefit we can all reap. Kids with autism are no different. Many families see a reduction in meltdowns when the dog arrives. The benefit there is obvious! What having Radar does already for Jason is he has him live in the moment. He has noticed Radar everywhere he's been lying down. Jason was nortorious for stepping on any dog because he didn't "see" it. That hasn't happened with Radar. He notices Radar! This alone would be worth everything but the benefits will continue. Having a dog on a leash is a great buffer and makes Jason more approachable to his peers. They will come up and ask questions about the dog. This brings up another benefit---Jason is going to learn that conversation is a two-way street. He says something, the other person says something. The person asks questions (about the dog) and Jason will answer. This is HUGE for a kid with Asperger's!!

This is also the beginning. I can report that, for me, Radar has been a huge stress-reliever. The daily walks we take when I get to just be me are priceless. I feel my blood pressure go down when I pet him, brush him or just talk to him. I was not expecting to reap this myself!

It's so interesting to watch Radar interract with the kids. He is different with each one. With Jason he is a bit more reserved, waiting to be approached but tail waggin' happy and he watches Jason like a hawk. Radar sleeps in Jason's room. With Molly, Radar sees her as a fun leader and was most obedient to her from the moment he arrived here. Radar loves Kasey with no inhibitions! He thinks she's a puppy and a ton of fun with her quick movements and squeals of delight!

Right now Radar is "recuperating" from his neuter of last week. Translation: I'm trying to keep the world's happiest dog from bouncing so much he tears his sutures and needs staples!

Deane

2009-03-06T15:35:00.000-08:00

Welcome to our Blog!

2009-03-06T15:21:00.000-08:00

The idea of creating a blog for our North Star journey has been playing in my mind for several months now. We've got a blog going for Kasey's adoption (which I've been terrible about keeping current) so why would we need another??

The quick answer is: it would be different! What if ONE person read this blog and learned something about autism, North Star or dogs. Wouldn't that be worth it? Yes, it would!

Here we are. This will not be thoughts exclusive to me. My hope is that all members of the family will be typing their thoughts, feelings and experiences. No two are exactly alike and each will see things from their perspective. THAT is the point of this blog.

We hope you will check back often and read what is happening within the walls of the Mushlit household as it pertains to life with Radar and what he has to offer all of us. Deane